My Friend

My Friend
Cover Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

Why does bad stuff happen to good people? The "logical me" knows terrible things happen to everybody, but it is most painful when it seems undeserved or happens to someone you care about deeply. Indeed they didn't deserve it.

Cindy is married to a good friend of mine. I don't know Cindy well, but we spent time together. Our conversations were sporadic but enjoyable. Cindy has interesting hobbies like sewing and making beautiful dresses by hand. Cindy's dresses find their way into historical reenactments, so quality and authenticity are essential. My wife is heavily involved in different fiber arts, so I greatly appreciate the amount of work that probably goes into it. It's a labor of love. Something tangible. Something to be respected and appreciated.

By all accounts, Cindy is a great wife to my friend Wayne and mother to their son Clark. Wayne and I bonded over work and sealed the deal over spirits (the drinkable kind.) Cindy often joined us at industry events where I got to know her, even just a little.

Cindy had cancer.

End-of-life stuff is hard. Thinking about it is hard. Planning for it is hard. Actually, living through it is really hard. We celebrated Cindy's remission in June 2015. It was an emotional day.

Cindy's cancer returned and by 2018 was... untreatable. A community of colleagues and friends gathered (online and some in person) to support Cindy, Wayne, and Clark in their final moments together.

This post is just a time to read and reflect on what is really important in your life. Another friend posted some thoughtful words as someone who has been through this before.

Make this the day, week, or year you find a community you can be part of. Spend time with your community, family, and friends. When you can, help others in their time of need if you are inclined. Ultimately, it is not our technology, code, or career choices that will remember us.